"The Moment"

You ever have a song or cd that reminds you of an event or a person? This morning I was looking through my collection of cds looking for something to mellow me out after being hyped up by this morning's basketball game. What I found was my old Kenny G "The moment" cd. Hopped in the shower and as I listen to the cd, the memories start flooding my mind and the tears started flowing down. The memories were of my Grandma, Bessie Davis. It's around this time of year that I really start thinking about her because spring time was our favorite time of the year. It was during this time when we used to sit out on her front porch and just talk about the weather, family, life or whatever crossed our minds or we'd just sit there and watch as the cars drove by and the squrriels played or listened to the birds. Sometimes we'd just sit and not say a word. God I miss her. My only reget is not getting the chance to really tell her how much I loved her and appreciated her love and kindness before she passed away. I remember when she used to call me buddy when I was little(a nickname she gave all the younger males in the family). How I use to lay up in her lap and go to sleep. Or how she use to fix me breakfast before I caught the bus to go to school in the morning and then watch cartoons with me in the afternoon until my mom got off work to take me home. She had one of those funny laughes that would make everybody else laugh...well at least me anyways...LOL. I remember how we use to go out and feed the cats or the chickens or how we used to go out in her back yard to pick apples and grapes during the warm months and pecans in the fall when I was little. When I was a teen, it tickled me that I was taller than she was(she was 5'0 I think). I use to tell her, "Grandma, you're really short" and she'd laugh and reply with something smart or she'd pop me with the fly swatter or a newspaper. One memory that sticks out the most was that she love to collect a certain vine plant. She use to have pots full of them on the front porch. It's the same vine plant that I've collected each time I moved to a new duty station since I joined the military and I have one in my window now. Everytime I see it, I think of her. As I started to become a man, she used to tell me how proud of me she was and said she knew that I was destine for great things. I know she's up above watching over me. Sometimes I wonder what she's thinking up there or what's she saying about her family. Is she proud of how the family turned out? I know some of us aren't as close knit as we used to be and that certain bonds have been broken or seperated. What does she think of her grandchildren and great grandchildren? I know we all as a family have a ways to go and we all have stumbled along the way of this path called life. Despite what some of us may think, we're not perfect. We all have faults. The important thing is to move on, strengthen the bonds we have and try to mend the bonds that have become shattered. I know it's a hard thing to do but some of us need to learn how to forgive and learn to love again. Don't let hurt and hate consume and harden your heart. Let it go. Just know that if you ever need my help, I'll be there by phone, e-mail, and if need be in person. Same goes for all my friends reading this too. If you need me, I got you covered.